Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
