i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
