the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
