in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
