don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
