and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I love you. Go after that dick
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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