what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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