just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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