She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
