my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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