I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
