He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I want a musical about memes.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
