What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
