btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
