I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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