im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
