Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
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