If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
