Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
