I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
My vagina is very pro this idea
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
