he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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