HIV tests are more positive than that guy
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize