I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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