I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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