sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
