he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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