i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
