Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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