dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
this will be a night to untag.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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