Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
