she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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