Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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