we're blogging at a bar
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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