I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Randomize
