You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize