..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
