I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
