plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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