so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
