what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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