Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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