it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
