I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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