remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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