At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
