Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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