only you would photoshop your dick
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
