last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
