apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
