he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
