Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
