I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
