dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize