I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
