So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
