I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
