I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
