drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm too high and old for this...
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize