But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
