we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
