I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
