ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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