i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
