He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
