worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
