dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
