"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
