There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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